To my dearest daughters,

I wanted to write about my childhood for a long long time but never get to do it because I felt inadequate. Now that I have so many encouragement from all of you, I think I will do it but not to publish.. (may be if you chance upon this after my death, if you think it is ineresting enough) then you may Publish it , but first check the spelling and the grammers. Also you may find the time and date all mixed up but you see, it has been a long time and some of the memories have been lost.

Let's see, I remember the wooden house very well, it was at the corner of the road that lead to the Siamese Kampong. We (my grandmother and her 4thf husband whom I call Ah there and me) stayed upstair and downstair was the rubber shop. My father started this shop and my grandpa who took care of the business and me.

You may ask why I stayed with my grandma instead of my parents, you see, Ah mah has so many kids, I am the 8th and she was vey sick when she was expecting me, so she left me in the hospital for whoever wanted me.(I learnt this only vey much later from a distant relative and not very sure if the story is correct) My grandma took me home and thus I am who I am today...

One of the reason why I wanted to write this is because I wanted you all the know the personn I love very very much, that is the man I called Ahthere. I seldom talk about him but each time I think of him, I can't help myself but cry, even now as I am writing this. I tried to write about him a few times but I ended up  crying. I missed him very much, more than I miss my father.

He was Malaysian Siamese, at least 20 years younger than my grandma. He was the one who took care of me...I could not remember the detail but what I remember my grandma was a gambler, she hardly cooked, what I remember was she steamed mince meet with egg for me nearly everyday, because that was the easiest to cook. AhThere could put me behind his bicycle and took me to the siamese Kampong to visit his sister every night after the shop is closed, he drank till he  got drunk. Sometimes we fell from the bicycle because he was too drunk and it was a secret between both of us,( my grandma would kill him if she find out) He pampered me, carried me and fed me till I was almost 6yrs old. my fiends used to laught at me because I still need to be carried where as they are allowed to run wild and swim at the river nearby the house.

Once I throw a tantrum because I wanted to swim in the river like all my friends, so one of the off day, he took me to the river (5 mints walk from the house but for the 6 yrs of my life, I have not been !) Then he put me in a sampang (small boat), used a bathing pail to scoop the water from the river and bath me, imagine my embaressment infront of all my friends !!!!! 

16-09-2006 1.35AM