Latest update 25th Oct. 2006

I was not supposed to be here, I want to be with Saloma, Gaia and Zena but what I want and what I have to do is another thing.

Prema moved again, this is the 3rd time in the last two years and duty called, here I am, in Battambang. Not that she is helpless, she is one tough girl! Not that I don’t enjoy her company but the amount of cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning is getting to me. Looking at my chipped finger nails, hands like sand paper, hair like orang gila, face producing natural oil (one thing I save on is skin care, just bought a set from Jacky for about RM 1,000/- because she said I would look younger, see how vain I am).

This place that she is renting is so far the most beautiful one, it is on the 2nd floor of the kindergarten, .beautiful building especially the kitchen, big, spacious and with character. You see, Cambodia was colonized by France and this building is surrounded by French windows and doors, and it opens out to long verandas and balcony. I spend most of my time in the kitchen, other than cooking, I play Sudoku, Scrabble, computer games and (some times) read my notes…from the course that I am taking, but you know la, studying is not my cup of tea.

You see, my life is so perfect, right? Beautiful house, big and spacious kitchen for me to play, no social obligation! What else would one ask for in life? Well, I miss my social obligation, esp. with my sisters, I miss her call everyday asking me what I am doing for that day, and I miss the lunch, tea and movie with them. I wonder whether they have gone to watch Jackie Chan’s movie without me.

No social obligation! No television, too. We watched Mulan 3 nights ago on the computer screen. This is maybe the 31st time I watch that show, 5 times with each grandkid and this time with Prema, I know what Mulan is going to say even with my eyes closed! 2 nights ago, we watched Mulan 2. Great life, right?

Sounds like I am complaining, YES, I am. The more I grumble, the more I admire Prema. She is definitely taking this place as her permanent home and there is no plan of her coming back to Malaysia ever! She looks so comfortable in her Cambodian outfit and she looks like one of them with her armpits full of sweat and yet she looks so cool! I wonder how she does it. Her life is so purposeful and meaningful, dealing with kids in the morning, planning training programme for the Junior youth in the afternoon and teaching in UniED twice a week and devotes her life to serving. As I told her yesterday, this is definitely not the life I ever want, maybe a few months in a year is what I can do, more than that…Oh, God! Help me, please!

I didn’t want to write too much, I know how some of you dislike reading long and winding blogs, but before I stop, I must mention THIS. Do you know where all the spiders have gone to? All migrated to Cambodia, no wonder we don’t see spiders in Malaysia anymore. AND one more thing, these green tiny insects that come out in the night, they come by millions and irritate the hell out of me, but it seems I am the only one complaining. So it must be me the irritating one, not them.

By the way, I am going back this coming Tuesday. I dread leaving Prema alone but I can see now that my life is going to be like that, see one child mean missing the other four. How I wish all of them are staying nearby… but again it may not be a good idea!